I’m not sure about all you moms out there, but I know I often have scary images that pop into my head at really weird moments. For example, if I’m driving, I’ll have a scary flash of another car hitting my car, or an image of me walking on the street and getting hit by a car. I know this seems morbid, but ever since I had kids, I always seem to have these horrible images but never in my life did I ever believe the images would play themselves out in real life until recently!
One of my worst images came true. The trauma still remains and the visions are clear as day.
I am a pretty routine oriented person. I have my set schedule and I try not to deviate. Well, Tuesday 10/12/10 I made a split second decision to change up my schedule a bit. I drove AB to the train station. I debated whether Me and Max, my almost two year old, would drive to Dunkin Donuts for a bagel then the park or we should get some exercise and enjoy the beautiful cool Florida weather and walk.
I decided we would walk. I live in a development in florida. Its about 1/4 mile from my house to the entrance of my development which is Congress, a main street that leads us to the park.
Usually when I walk with Max, I use his Radio Flyer tricycle and I push rather than use the stroller. On this date, I decided to use his Chicco rugged umbrella stroller. Thank G-d for small decisions.
We walked to congress, I noticed a neighbor beginning her walk with her child not to far behind me. I began crossing over the the first part of the three lane intersection since I had the light. I stopped at the median, looked behind me and was two feet away from the curb when I noticed a white pick up truck making a left turn in my direction. I noticed he wasn’t slowing down, he was trying to make the light. I waved to him to get his attention while I was trying to pull Max’s stroller back to the median when the crunch and slam noise resonated in my ear. I felt my arms jerk to the side as I held on for dear life.
The pick up truck hit Max’s stroller on the side. I started screaming out for help, I heard Max crying and I begin to unbuckle his, thanks goodness, 5 point harness, to check him. I was shaking, I felt my knees getting weak and all I could think was That I had no idea what to do, I was scared to look at possible injuries, all I could do was hold max tight and pray.
There are, thankfully, still amazing, sincere caring individuals out there. People stopped their cars and got out to help. The mother who was walking behind me luckily saw the accident occur and was a great witness to explain the circumstances to the police. Although she was as shaken up as I was, I commended her on her truthful and honest account of the accident.
I was supported by a lady who helped calm me down and consoled me. Max finally stopped crying but my tears continued to stream down in buckets. I kept thinking that “this could not be happening to me and my child.”
The Police and the fire trucks showed up extremely quickly which I was very thankful for. The stroller was checked out by the firefighters and it was noted that the side of the stroller was bent in. Max was checked for injuries and besides some slight redness, Max did not have one bruise or laceration on his right leg which was the area of impact on his stroller.
The firefighters felt max did not need to be brought to the hospital but it was suggested I bring him to his pediatrician for a follow up. The crowd dispersed and the mom that witnessed the accident walked me home and spent some time talking to me. We became friends.
I brought max to his pediatrician. Of course I got all the what “couldve been” scenarios. If i hadn’t held on to the stroller when it was hit, Max could have had a head injury. If the pick up truck hit a little harder, Max’s leg could have been fractured and the worst one, if I hadn’t turned my head and pulled Max’s stroller away, before I crossed the street, me and max would have been hit straight on.
The driver of the car was drug and alcohol tested. Although he was negative for alcohol and other drugs, I was told a few times by the police that the driver was “weird”. His consequences were receiving two citations. One for not having his insurance card and the other for an auto accident with bodily injury.
I cant say the images I get in my head will ever end, but I will pay more attention and be more mindful. Accidents happen. Although I often live in a world where I think horrible things cant happen to me or my family, lessons are, unfortunately, learned the hard way.
Please be safe and always be cautious, not only for your life but the life of your loved ones.
Please share any comments about things that may have happened to you and your family that you never thought would happen.
I met Amazing Boyfriend (AB) on the dating website Plenty of Fish. HAHA laugh all you want, finding an amazing guy on a dating website you snicker? Yeah well I thought the same thing NINE months ago!
I had been separated from my ex after 8 years of marriage, father of my two children, when I decided I needed to go out and have some fun! I wasn’t looking for commitment, I wasn’t looking for a guy to take me away from my problems. I wanted to heal from my separation and I wanted to feel beautiful and sexy. What better way than to go on a few dates with a few different guys and see whats going on in the world of dating.
I was totally wowed my first date with AB. Looking back I think I fell in love at first sight. I had forgotten about feeling connected to someone instantaneously. I had hidden for a long time any feelings of desire, until I saw AB. I felt young and alive. I felt 16 again.
From that night, I began my soul searching. Here I was, a 35 year old woman, an almost divorcee with two children. How did I get to this place and what did I do wrong as a woman that my marriage failed. Although I don’t regret the failure of my first marriage, I bless the failure, because I made the conscious decision to do things different the 2nd time around.
I questioned where I went wrong. This was a difficult question to answer. I dont think anybody wants to admit their shortcoming but I was determined. I wasnt the doting wife. I built resentments, I did things myself and expected my mind to be read when I was angry. I didnt want to be loved and I didnt want to be the best person I could be. I began to realize these feelings and actions are detrimental to any relationship and I decided to challenge myself by doing things different than before.
I began to do things for AB that I never would have done in the past. It hasnt been difficult because I find that I WANT to do these things differently and I think I would never have gotten to this point of compelte happiness if AB hadnt found me and without my efforts to learn from my mistakes.
I always want to make sure that AB always feels he cannot and will not live without me. I will continue my efforts every day so he always feels completely and utterly loved while being the best person I can be every day of my life because whats the point of life if you cant live it!
Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures
and go on to the next challenge. It’s OK. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing. - H. Stanley Judd
Three Rules of Work: 1. Out of clutter, find simplicity. 2. From discord, find harmony.
3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. -Albert Einstein
When one door closes, another opens, but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. -Alexander Graham Bell
With the encouragement of my Amazing boyfriend (AB), and the invite from a friend of a friend, and after over one month of anticipation, I attended my first “Sex toy party” presented by Slumber Parties, Inc.
Not only was I thrilled to have some hours away from the kids, but I was looking forward to having fun with other mommies as well as being able to learn new things to enhance my sex lif (although AB and I don’t need much help)!
No “party” is ever complete without wine and junk food. Although I dont drink, I can laugh hysterically without mind altering substances, the night was only sillier because the other mommies were more loose and relaxed from the alcoholic beverages.
There were over 20 woman in attendance at this “party”, all different personalities from the loud, boisterous, outspoken mommies, to the more prudish mommies. I’m the laid back, anything goes Frugal Jewgal mommy.
Just a quick background to break through any misconceptions about “sex toy parties”. This group of woman were given the opportunity to speak openly and honestly about how they could spice up their sexual relationship without feeling judged. I know we could all learn a few things on not only how to be sexually pleased, but more importantly how to ask our significant others to please us the way we WANT to be pleased. We played some silly games but mostly we were introduced to some fun “toys” we could use either alone or with our partner.
The presenter through Slumber Parties, Inc was funny yet informative. Mostly every woman who attended this party, left with a discreet black plastic shopping baf with her contents safely concealed until she got home. Every woman with the bag in hand and a smile on her face, anticipated the evening ahead. Pleasure on a different level. Luckily the party started early and ended early enough for the mommies to leave giddy, and in the mood to try out their new “toys”.
This night was so worth my time. To be able to laugh with woman, share your personal stories and leave with a “gift” was a night I didnt regret being away from AB for a few hours. I even made an appointment to “host” a party at my house. Check out their website to see if Slumber Parties, Inc is close to your house. I think you and your mommy friends will be very grateful!
Needless to say, AB was handsomely rewarded for watching the kids, baking me chocolate chip cookies and having his wonderful smile on his face when I walked in the house.
Bedtime battles have become a family tradition in my home. For the last 7 ½ years I have struggled with my Belle and fighting me on
going to sleep.
I can only blame myself. For the first two years of her life, her crib was in my bedroom. She was our alarm clock, every morning. “Mama” she would call loudly while she was only 5 feet away from my bed. Nap time wasn’t any better. I fortunately was a stay at home mom with my Belle for 3 years. I recall other moms and every parenting book “sleep when your baby sleeps”. I love to sleep so I didn’t argue. The drawback? My Belle and I took naps TOGETHER in my king size bed. I’d hold her tight, sing softly in her ear and we both would fell asleep together.
Not till she turned two did I realize that maybe napping literally with her wasn’t such a good idea. She wouldn’t nap anywhere else or with anybody else but with me. I rationalized in my head, let me take advantage of the cuddling and closeness now because in another few years, she probably wouldn’t want anything to do with me.
Well almost eight years later, I’m still holding my breath.
My belle will sneak into my bed in the middle of the night. My belle wills me awake by staring at me until I jump out of my bed. My belle will try to sleep in her brothers room. She doesn’t like to sleep alone. She wants to be close to me. Its flattering however I’M TIRED!!!
I’ve tried everything. I have Googled, I have talked to other moms, I have talked to doctors and child therapists. I have taken every possible suggestion in the hopes that something, anything, would cure the nightime battles. Nope. I’m not that lucky.
So I write tonight’s blog, feeling the same frustration I usually feel each evening around this time, when my belle calls or comes out of her room with every excuse in the world. “Mommy my ankle broke in bed”, “mommy my pimple hurts”, “mommy I’m thirsty”, mommy I had a bad dream but I didnt fall asleep yet”, “mommy its hot in my room” and so it goes.
I try to keep my cool but I’m frustrated. My mom will sometimes remind me that she will grow out of this, or she wont want to sleep in my bed when she’s an adult. I know I must remain consistent. I continue a stringent bedtime routine that my belle is comfortable with although I am convinced the bedtime battles are also part of our routine.
Here are some tips for all you moms out there struggling with the same bedtime battles. I cant say they didn’t completely work for us. We have come a long way. Try it and modify it to what is best for you and your family.
- Consistency is key, stay on schedule, ALL children thrive on a good schedule. They know what to expect and are comfortable with the routines. Start the routine an hour before sleep.
- Don’t get the kids wound up before bed. I know this is tough especially with parents who work late and want to spend time with the kids, but it doesn’t help when the kids are all wild and then they can’t calm back down to sleep. Try soothing activities. Massages are relaxing, yoga for kids helps promote good sleep and reading is always a soothing activity and enhances the bond between parent and child.
- Hang a colorful chart either with pictures or written on what the child needs to finish before bed. Bathing, cleaning room, light snack, brushing teeth, reading books and bed.
- Take 10 minutes to sit in bed together and reflect on your child’s day. This helps alleviate some anxiety your child may have had and will help them sleep better.
- Lastly, try as hard as you can to avoid the requests. Anticipate your child’s “but mommy” and stay strong. Don’t give in. Set boundaries. Your child will thank you someday.
Please leave your comments on unique ways you get your kids to sleep. Or share your bedtime battles. Remember your not alone!!
TGIF……Time for weekend shopping and to take advantage of the coupons from our favorite stores! Remember there are tons of coupons out there distributed by the stores and manufacturers for a reason. They want the consumers to shop and they know we will shop if we can save money and find great deals. There are also lots of FREEbies to take advantage of. You may need to sign up for FREE items or “like” the retailer on Facebook however the time it takes to sign up is worth it since you get lots of FREE samples which you can test out the product and determine if you want to buy it.
The Childrens Place always has amazing sales in-store and on-line. Take advantage of $5 shipping plus the next four days an extra 15% off.
Lands End for adults and children are offering 25% off highest price item.
Check out the Amazon sitefor a FREE download of the eBook “Marked”by Elisabeth Naughton and ebook “Penelope and prince charming” by Jennifer Ashley. You can read this book on a Kindle device or download free programs to read on your PC, MAC, Blackberry, Android, iPhone, or iPad. Hurry because these are limited time only deals.
Sign up for a free COLD-EEZE sample since flu season is coming up and I swear by these!! Proven zinc formula.
Lastly check out these fun FREE family activities this weekend.
Borders - September 18th 11 am Dr. Seuss Celebration
Target – Free Sponsored Events in cities nationwide
Lakeshore Crafts For Kids Saturday September 18th 11am – 3pm build ‘My Pet Turtle’
Free Walmart Sampling Events on General Mills products and Sun Crystals at participating stores through 9/19
Williams-Sonoma will have an Indoor Grilling Techinique Class on 9/19. Call your local store for more details.
As always having fun with the kids and shopping DOES NOT have to cost a fortune. Be sensible, avoid impulsive purchases and always have your coupons handy for great savings!!
We all have our secrets. I know I’m not the only one. I have kept secrets from people I love becuase I thought if I told the truth, it would have its ramifications. Not telling your secrets to the ones you love, there is always the fear of shame and embarrassment. How do we decide the secret is appropriate to share? How do we know by sharing the secret it wont hurt the other person?
I tried keeping a secret for over 30 years from two people who I love very much. I never thought there would be a way these loved ones would find out the truth. I never believed it was necessary for my loved ones to know. After 30 years, my pain has dissipated, why rehash the pain within myself as well as causing new pain to my loved ones. Isn’t this selfish? People don’t have enough problems in the world that they now have to deal with a new secret?
I try to keep my regrets to a minimum. If I could go back 30 years and tell the truth, I would. I think things could have been different but it is to late now. I am comfortable and content now. I am strong and focused. I will not live in the past and I wouldn’t expect my loved ones to either.
Doing things differently now, I have learned I am only as sick as my secrets. It is not necesary to keep secrets anymore. I am a truthful and honest person and I believe others are capable of the same thing. I believe it will cleanse my soul to let go of all my demons. Telling the people who deserve to know. I will live the rest of my days as honest as possible.
All you moms, dont live in pain, share your secrets with people you trust. Remember you are only as sick as your secrets!
You know who you are…don’t call me tonite….I love you.
The Jewish High Holy Days are observed during the 10 day period between the first day (Rosh Hashanah) and the 10th day (Yom Kippur). Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the most important of all Jewish Holidays. Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is celebrated the first and second days. It is a time of family gatherings, special meals and sweet tasting foods. Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, is the most solemn day of the Jewish year and is observed on the tenth day. It is a day of fasting, reflection and prayers.
Yom Kippur has always been the most important Jewish holiday for me to seriously practice. It gives me the opportunity to throw away my sins of the past year and to be forgiven by G-d and forgiven by myself.
This time of year always makes me think about the true nature of our sins. I like the definition and description from Dummies.com “Sin is any deliberate action, attitude, or thought that goes against G-d. You may think of sin as an obvious act, such as murder, adultery, or theft. Although that’s true, sin is also wrongdoing that’s far subtler and even unnoticeable at times, such as pride, envy, or even worry. Sin includes both things you shouldn’t have done, but did (sins of commission)and things you should’ve done, but didn’t (sins of omission).”
I used to struggle with how easy my religion made it for me to do something wrong then be forgiven at the beginning of each new year. I thought this was such a cop out. It almost made it easy for me to rationalize some white lies I have told, or bigger wrongdoings I have committed with the thought that I would be forgiven and life would go on.
As I got older, I realize that although I was being forgiven by G-d, I was not forgiving myself. Thus the baggage and heavy weight of regret, resentment and guilt built year after year. I have learned that living one day at a time, forgiving myself and others, will help me lead my life with a lighter heart and a happier soul.
This year I will fast for 24 hours, cleanse my body and my soul. I will take my ritual walk to a body of water near my house, and throw my sins away for the year. I’m not perfect. More sins will accumulate but I will continue to forgive myself and strive every day to be a better person than I was, the day before.
There are lots of freebies available if you act quick!
This is a tribute post to all the men at work. The men who work day in and day out, with little complaining and can still come home and find the energy to make there women happy!
For weeks we had been sitting at the kitchen table eating late dinners with no light. We have a fan with lights on it and the chain was broken that controlled the lights. No big deal for a while since it is Florida and the sun shines until about 8pm. But it was getting annoying.
My dad, the jack of all trades kind of guy, stepped up to the plate and attempted to repair a seemingly uncomplicated task. Well 3 hours later, and the fan wires hanging lose from the ceiling, we needed to call in the big guns.
Yes, my AB (amazing boyfriend) came to the rescue. He was able to wow us with his alert and calm demeanor to get the job done. Just when they were going to accept defeat and call it a night, AB has an epiphany! They were working with the light wires and not the fan wires which is why they could not get the lights and fan to work separately.
With hands like surgeons and focused eyes, my dad and AB worked as a team to put the wires back together and the fan back in its place in full working order. To watch both men’s faces as they accomplished a job, they really had no expertise in, was an amazing sight for this most appreciative Frugal Jewgal.
All you ladies out there. Remember our men work hard and don’t ask for much in return. Make sure you remember to show your appreciation to your man every day for a job well done. They deserve it and they will appreciate you in return. Give it a try. We all need encouragement and I believe we don’t thank people enough for all their hard work and dedication.
Thanks dad and AB. You earned it!!
Our family outing was to the Ft. Lauderdale Museum of Science. The family was to consist of this Frugal Jewgal, my amazing boyfriend, Belle and Max however late Friday evening, some genius decided to invite another kid to our family adventure (you know who you are). So early Saturday morning, the five of us start our adventure taking the car to the train (same genius recommended the train as a fun time) 95 degrees in Florida, three kids, a stroller and waiting for the train. Need I say more?
We took the train to the Ft. Lauderdale station where again in 95 degree heat, waited for the bus to take us to the museum. My family took advantage of the Bank of America first weekend of the month free entrance to the museum. We were sadly disappointed with this deal. In 95 degrees, ticket booths outside, we were debating with the cashier about why Bank of America “cardholders” enter the CHILDRENS museum for free, but the CHILDREN were charged to enter the museum! We had anticipated saving money on entrance fees and using that towards the IMAX “Hubble 3D ” movie. When kids are whining, how can you tell them no 3D because Bank of America deal was misleading? You cant, so we paid extra and the kids were thrilled. Me and amazing boyfriend were glad we paid the extra money, it was definitely money well spent.
We also made the mistake of not packing lunch, thinking we would walk over to a local pizza place for lunch however 95 degree Florida heat, three kids, we decided we were better off eating in the museum at Subway which cost us a fortune! No last minute money savings for this Frugal Jewgal.
The attractions were fun. We especially liked the Hubble 3D movie as well as the Mars simulator and the “hurricane” where we were able to spin around super fast!
Traveling back from the space shuttle, a quick stop for slushies at 7-Eleven, waiting in the grueling heat for the bus to arrive and the fear of missing the train. Luckily my amazing boyfriend “buffered” our train schedule so we wouldn’t be late and have to wait another two hours for the next train. Although he didn’t tell anyone he buffered our timing and we were all whining and rushing in the heat trying to make a train that we had plenty of time to catch!!!
Overall our all day adventure was fun. Any time with the children and the amazing boyfriend are hours I would never trade for the world. Although it was not the ultimate Frugal Jewgal deal, it was worth the smiles on my loved ones faces.
Leave me comments on how you spent your Saturday with your loved ones!